Generally speaking, I tend to shy away from house strains, although I’m not sure why. In most other industries, from beer to food to parties, my fancy will likely be tickled if it’s a house special.
Perhaps it’s a lack of proper sales techniques. There’s a big difference between not mentioning something or mentioning it last in a list of recommendations vs. mentioning it early and enthusiastically.
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Sometimes downplaying or forgetting the house weed may be because some dispensaries don’t grow very good weed, OR they subcontract the growing out to someone else they know is pretty mids.
During a recent stop-in at Oregrown, I learned a little more about their house weed, that they do indeed grow it themselves, and now, after smoking a bit of it, I can say it’s pretty solid stuff!
The strain being reviewed here is called Smackerz, was grown by Oregrown themselves, tested in at 26.04%, and is a pretty heavy indica-leaning hybrid. Smackerz itself is kind of a unique strain that combines an all-time classic in GG#4 with a newer kid on the block in Rozay (Sunset Sherbet x Purple Bomb)
^If you’re a fan of Sunset Sherb children you might want to look into Fried Ice Cream as well.
GG4, or Gorilla Glue phenotype #4, was one of the first strains I ever consumed on the recreational market, and I remember seeing Rozay around, most recently at Cookies in Vegas. Hence, this old-school/new-school mashup was pretty intriguing.
So, after getting hooked up with a quarter ounce, I was excited to get home and give this stuff a rip because, boy, I’ll tell you whut I fucking love a good indica.
Appearance: GG4 Green Dolled Up With Rozay Color
There can sometimes be hesitancy among consumers to go in on a house-grown strain simply because so many dispensaries are trying to do it without having the actual expertise to do it well.
You see this with beer often, particularly with restaurants and gastro pubs feeling they need to offer an in-house beverage born more out of a perceived lost unrealized revenue than an actual passion for brewing.
With the headaches associated with cannabis permitting, processing, and retailing, some eNtRePrEnEuRs will turn to subcontracting in which someone else grows their house weed for them, simply slapping their name on the product to reap the dollar dollar bills ya’ll.
This is not what Oregrown is, and I honestly regret holding onto such a pessimistic assumption for so long. Oregrown grows their own organic bud on an 84-acre farm down in Bend, with water being drawn directly from mother nature’s richest vein in the Deschutes River Basin.
The end result is buds with a full, healthy silhouette. I wouldn’t call them fatties, nor are they spindly; they are a happy medium. They aren’t overly dense, which makes for easy breaking apart/grinding.
Some flower out there is so dense that trying to break them up to roll without a grinder evenly is a nightmare, whereas other are so porous that they almost fall apart to the touch. Oregrown’s Smackerz is the perfect density.
The colors are what you’d expect from a GG4/Rozay cross, with the bright greens of GG4 being colorized a bit more with the richer, darker hues of the Rozay.
Overall great execution from the cultivation to the trimming to the curing; there’s nothing to complain about here!
Smell: The Bouquet of a Sweet Fall Forest Floor
This quarter ounce is about half smoked, so it’s had some time to mellow out in my Re:Stash glass storage jar for a couple of weeks, which is when I honestly feel like you get some of the sweetest, most approachable smells.
In Smackerz, I get pine needles that have fallen on the forest floor and an almost maple leaf sweetness.
Think a long late fall walk through varying local Oregon canopies; the sweetness of the trees increasing their sugar production, the warmth of the sun evaporating terpenes from soft pine needles that have lost their crisp Christmas bite and are now more in harmony with the softer decomposition smells of the forest floor in pre-winter twilight.
There’s a very soft skunk that plays with the pine in, I’d say, a 50/50 ratio where you couldn’t say it is entirely dominated by one or the other, just a very nice balance.
Overlaid on top of this classically Oregonian terpene profile is a softer cherry sweetness that softens the edges and makes it a very approachable strain, easy to recommend to someone either just getting into cannabis or who is easily offended by too much gas, pine, or funk.
In a similar tone as the Miracle Alien Cookies from Evan’s Creek Farms I had the other week, there is an earthy base note here that, in that review, I described as having a warm graphite/woodsy smells that I associated with those old school pencil sharpening grinding collection tins that used to be ubiquitously drilled into school classroom walls.
I suspect this might be due to the similar OG Kush ancestors found in both MAC#1 and Rozay’s GSC & Pink Panties grandparents.
In this Smackerz, it’s a little less on the graphite and more on just dried wood notes that seem to underwrite the aforementioned pine astringency and cherry sweetness, similar to how port wine casks harmonize some of the softest, most approachable whiskies in the world.
Overall I’d say Smackerz caught me by surprise as I was expecting more of a sweet fruit jam/preserves profile than the complex marriage of various unique scent profiles I found. Assumedly this is just due to my word association between Smuckers and Smackerz.
No, this isn’t a sugar-laden fruit bomb kind; it’s a big wet juicy kiss (read “smack”) on the cheek!
Sensation: The Correct Amount of Functional Sedation
This is a nice thick, rich, mellow indica high, as much as it pains me to lead with that played-out cliché. Sometimes though, predictable and straightforward is good. This is a nice orange on the couchlock barometer, or couchometer, if you will. Red is you’re done. Green is like a straight-balanced hybrid. Yellow is mellow. This is orange to dark orange.
The body high is real too. If you cop some of this, try smoking in the golden hours of sunset, lying on your bed, and stretching. Shit feels great!
Listening to music is one of my favorite things to do when blazing, and I often find myself emotively syncing with songs on an emotional level.
Suppose music is a keyhole, and your brain is the key. In that case, cannabis seems to polish and magnetize my key brain so that it combines with a flawlessly satisfying “click” as it all snaps into place, the pins in the lock representative of the tones in the music wrapping around my key brain.
One song that ended up really resonating with the effects of Smackerz on my brain was this ethereal lowkey progressive house track from Warung titled “Return To A Place Called Heaven”:
Just fucking sublime.
Sublime is the best descriptor for Smackerz. It envelopes you in a warm silky embrace blowing soft currents of warm relaxation across your body, helping wipe away the small mosquito-like annoyances of your day.
Summary: Preconceptions Be Damned
If you skipped through most of this review just trying to get a short and concise takeaway, I have two for you.
First, Oregrown produces some quality weed and shouldn’t be overlooked during your next refill. I kind of wish the staff would feature their product a little more prominently or at least have offered me smells earlier because this is some solid bud.
I get not wanting to come off as overly self-promotional but putting this stuff at the end of the counter and not mentioning it is kind of a shame. That said, I’m glad I found it and now feel like part of a secret club, just like people who recognize the innate handling glory of Mazda Miatas or the hidden values of re-branded Kirkland products at Costco.
Besides Oregrown producing solid in-house bud, the second takeaway is that Smackerz is a solid chill strain that doesn’t overwhelm or blast you into space, making it a superb movie night weed where you want to relax, not lose the plot.
The sedating effects and lack of brute force impact might sound contradictory to the name as you’re not really getting smacked around here, but this is actually the best part of this weed, IMO, in the predictable utility of a calming relaxing bud that doesn’t immediately conk you out.
Smackerz is a pleasure to grind up, has just enough sweetness to be tasty, and has a very linear, predictable high that allows you to function easily in society. Now I don’t know if I’d be waking and baking with Smackerz unless I intended for a long ass nap, but anytime on or after 4:20 pm is the perfect time for a fat bong rip of Smackerz.
Trust me, she’s a lovely strain, and it’s obvious she was grown with love too. Give Oregrown’s house line a sniff next time you’re in; you just might be surprised by what you find.
