Eugreen Notill’s Donny Burger, similar to Focus North’s White Truffle, is one of those strains that I sweat I’ve been consistently seeing on shelves for what feels like years but which I’ve never actually tried simply because of how consistently I saw it.
It was just a case of “Oh, I can get this next time” that resulted in me pushing off smoking White Truffle (read more about just why I regret waiting so long here) and pushing off the Donny B.
I was just complacent. I’ll admit that. The rest of this review should make that pretty clear if you give me a chance to explain.
So, the time has finally come for my official review of a quarter ounce’s worth of Donny Burger grown by the Soilgoons at Eugreen, purchased from the stalwart that is Oregrown at NE 12th and NE Couch St.
This fleshmonster was indulged in three primary modes of consumption, which included being vaped, jayed, and bonged.
^Yeah, calm down, Grammarly, this isn’t a fucking dictionary.
Appearance: Knobby Hairy Little Bastards
I’m not going to lie; the initial appearance of these nugs didn’t really give me the fizz.
I like big, dense mofoers. Like not a lot of air. And purple too. Large in size. Big buds with moist centers. Yeah, I like these things and I cannot lie.
This batch of Donny Burger (sometimes written by the grammatically challenged as ‘Donnies Burger’) I got is more like various sizes of small and medium-small.
Yes, all of what I’ve just said and what am going to continue to say is “subjective”. You may prefer the opposite of me and that’s just fine.
Overall these nugs are kind of knobby but also airy and soft. I always struggle to know how much of this kind of weed to grind because it often looks puffier but squishes down more when rolling up.
Like this is one of those weeds you will have to top up your grinder a second time after you’ve dumped your first load and realized it wasn’t going to be enough once compacted into your jay or cone or blunt or whatever floats your boat.
I don’t know what that tiny little yellowish spot is, either. Looks like a fresh sprout? There were like 2 or 3 of them total across all the nugs.
I tried to research what in the growing process might cause this but very quickly realized I had gotten out of my depths and gave up and ground them shits up and smoked it all regardless.
I’m the furthest thing from a cultivation guru as can be and my perpetually-on-life-support snake plant can attest to that.
Organic and quality and flavor are about all I give a shit about; I’ve smoked so much Eugreen (Scotti-Faced and Galactic Runtz being two favs) that my trust in them is pretty damn supreme at this point.
In terms of the “chomes” brahj, yeah, they are there, inside and out; there is plenty of trichome delight to be feasted upon visually. These nugs are hairy and glary, covered in the ‘chomes.
Also, not to trigger anyone, but this bitch tested (per the label and lab and blah blah blah, I KNOW) at 34.36%.
The same knobby kind of structure I described earlier creates a lot of surface area to maximize total trichome coverage, which is a definite “pro” in this type of structure
My Donny Burger wasn’t the stickest ever, but stuff definitely got my fingers pretty sticky when hand-grinding it up for my bowl.
So appearance-wise, this isn’t going to be something I personally will remember forever, and that’s just fine. It’s not bad in any way. Some prefer their carbs in potato form, others rice, and others yet noodle.
However, it is important to remember to accept that OFTENtimes you cannot accurately judge a weed’s character by its appearance alone, and if the smell, flavor, and experience are all great, the appearance really doesn’t matter much in the end, does it?
Smell: It’ll Work Up an Appetite
Sometimes when it’s a struggle just to find a decent breakfast when traveling, and on top of that, sometimes you’re also a bit hungover and aren’t feeling too hot, compounding the hangry rapidly brewing deep in your belly.
But once you enter that breakfast joint, whether it be Denny’s, Perkins, iHop, or if you’re lucky, a locally owned and operated greasy AF joint that all the truckers love because, well, it’s dank.
The same thing happens with Donny Burger. The Burger is a GMO freak of nature that has a smell, flavor, and smoke all of its own.
Donny Burger is an indica-leaning hybrid. If 1 was (theoretically) pure indica and 10 was (theoretically) pure sativa, then the Don would be like a 3 or 4. Not sleep-inducingly indica but definitely a stoney stone more than a geek-out/freak-out sativa.
Up close with my nose buried deep in my fresh ass jar, the smell does reflect this with a dash of black pepper and fennel-seeded gyro roasted meaty fragrance.
Taping a step back as things begin to diffuse nicely into an aroma reminiscent of a freshly opened steamy sack of McDonald’s combo #3 (that’s a double quarter pounder with cheese for you uninitiated bitches).
This ground beef and onion twang kind of diffuses in the immediate vicinity, kind of like a fart of the same description. I feel like McDonald’s kind of smells farty, too, and sure enough, after blazing and then walking back into the room, it does kind of smell like McDonalds, in a good way.
What’s the Deal With GMO Anyways?
The “GMO” in the “GMO strain” actually stands for Garlic, Mushrooms, and Onions, which I think is the truest description of its personality.
“Garlic, Mushroom, and Onions” eventually became just Garlic Cookies which is fair I guess, because they kept the garlic funk descriptor and added cookies to reflect the GSC parent. Ultimately, in the end, the whole thing was just truncated to the technocratically efficient “GMO.”
It’s an indica smell for sure but not the most earthy I’ve smelled. The White Truffle I smoked the other week was a dirtier (as in soil-scented) strain. The Ice Cream Cake I’ve got sitting next to it does, however, smell a lot sweeter and creamier.
In terms of pre-smoke dry-pull, I got what really reminded me of that breath you get after eating a pretty legit lamb gyro with a garlic tzatziki sauce and raw onions for lunch. That taste in your mouth sitting in your cubicle post-lunch like a drone, counting down the hours before you can get the fuck out of the office.
It’s pretty familiar on the senses in that it’s another one of those strains where its name is actually appropriate, in my opinion.
Speaking of appropriate, I felt compelled to listen to some old Bloodhound Gang after smoking this and ultimately ended up on Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo on repeat. That song describes Donny Burger in an auditory sense.
Because of the dank earthy notes and the meaty undertones on the dry pull, I’m putting this one squarely in the afternoon-evening time category as I prefer a bit brighter bit more citrus and/or fruit in my wake-and-bake strains.
Donny Burger is definitely something to recommend to friends. I think those friends who have particularly sensitive palettes when it comes to smell and taste would enjoy the fast-food familiarity of D-Burger.
So yeah, overall pretty exciting to the ole shnoz. This is shaping up to be a great evening smoke!
Yeah, I write my reviews while under the effects of the herb I’m trying to describe. It makes logical “high sense” that this should increase the accuracy of said reviews, but I admit I haven’t given it much sober second thought.
Sensation: Fit Right In At The Local Diner
Donny Burger is kind of like a Nintendo of a high. It’s approachable and liked by a lot of people, so it makes a great common ground and makes whatever task you’re doing a bit more chill and a bit more fun.
Some weed makes it impossible to concentrate, and some weed makes it really easy to get SUPER tunnel-visioned (from chasing too many damn tunnels!).
Some weed is perfect for packing in a big bowl to share with your homies on a sunny Sunday afternoon—the Nintendo of highs!
Officially, unofficially, depending on which side of the indica/sativa/”it’s all the same” debate you fall on, Donny Burger is an indica-dominant (aka has a genetic history with strains known for their similar terpene profiles).
Donny Burger’s parents are GMO (which was explained in the intro of this blog post) and Han Solo Burger, which is itself a GMO and Larry OG offspring. Both family branches end up multiple generations back as “unknown Hindu kush” strain or “Afghanistani” indica.
As a member of the “yes, there is a difference” camp, I do think Donny Burger is a pretty chill high but not as sedating as something like Ice Cream Cake imo (which is the other strain I’m smoking on currently hence the direct apples to oranges comparison).
You can still function highly with da Donny, which, combined with the lightly sedating, mostly calming effects, would make it a great strain to smoke before a shift at the grocery store facing shelves until close. Would be great to smoke right before a glutinous greasy late-night diner session.
Honestly, I would say it was bordering on chatty in terms of keeping the brain gears churning while a general sense of anxiety relief sweeps through your body.
That may sound a bit hyperbolic, but I’m about 50% of the way through my stash as I write this, so having consumed about an eighth and it’s always a good stony time, usually before and after prepping dinner.
Despite this batch testing at 34.36% THC, I never felt anywhere close to geeking or getting that “top of the roller coaster right before the plunge” feeling.
The onset, the intensity, and the peak were all very manageable for me. Despite not being super intense, Donny Burger had solid staying power; I’d say performing slightly above average in terms of duration for non-infused flower.
No, I don’t have exact stopwatch numbers for you, but maybe that’s something I’ll incorporate in the future.
So if you come across some decently fresh Donny Burger at your neighborhood joint and like to try strains that step out of the sometimes overdone Runtz or grape strains, then pick up a couple of grams to give a try.
