Tang Breath – It’s a Kick in the Glassware!

If you were a child of the ’80s and 90’s or worked in a grocery store, or both (shoutout SuperV!), then you probably already know Tang. Chances are you probably think of it positively too. I mean, how can one biologically NOT love orange-dyed sugar powder? 

Well, what if I told you there was a specific strain of cannabis that captured some of that lip-smacking sweetness?

For many of us, nostalgia is one hell of a drug. You see it in the popularity of shows like Stranger Things and with fashion trends. You are now also seeing it in cannabis, with strains like Galactic Runtz, Fruit Loops, Zkittles, Cereal Milk, and Tang Breath all receiving a pretty hype reception.

Of those, Tang Breath is probably one of the lesser knowns, but based on the amount of Instagram posting in Oregon, at least it seems this strain is well on its way to celebrity. I’m going to try my best in this review to describe why that is.

Writing genuine strain reviews can be tough to fit in between the regular 9-5 grind and life’s incessant little responsibilities. I try to be in a relatively clear mind to best FEEL what the cannabis is doing and then communicate that via writing.

What finally wrangled me down to sit behind my computer and get to typing? What could be so exciting it called me to my desk prison to work on something that isn’t in any way paying the bills?

Appearance: Self-Contained Terpene Capsules

This weed isn’t purple, and it doesn’t look like it’s been covered in a blizzard’s worth of trichomes.

Instead, it looks like a very bright, fresh bunch of nugs that fell into a THC spider’s web and was wrapped up in a light, almost yellow-tinged web of trichomes.

If you look closely, you’ll notice that it is indeed a well-grown plant. The nug structure is prototypical, one dense mass as opposed to the more porous popcorn-type structures like its parent in Tropicana Cookies.

Being grown by none other than Fox Hollow Flora, we wouldn’t expect anything less, but even by their standards, these nugs were hella dense. A very little bit went a long way in my grinder when rolling up a few test pins.

The greatest part about the structure and being so dense is it seems to have helped in trapping in some of the most powerful funky notes, almost like the almost matted down trichome layer has sealed in virgin terpene notes just waiting for you to take them home and crack them open for yourself.

The stigmatic hairs aren’t particularly numerous or of any radical coloration. Still, when you look at them under magnification, you can see just how long and beautiful they are, almost like forest ferns that have been dried out and replaced their bright green color with a rust-like tinge.

Up front, these puppies are rather unassuming, and if you were analyzing them in a containment chamber in a laboratory and were unable to smell the glorious odors that emanate from this flower upon break-up, you might just assume it’s another mediocre strain.

But for all the normies out there who don’t grind their cannabis with their noses plugged, you’re in for a real treat, I promise.

If you’re looking at your half-ounce or quarter or whatever, and it LOOKS like you got less total material than normal, don’t worry. As mentioned, these puppies are dense; there’s not a lot of air in there at all.

In the end, this cannabis is best observed with your nose and with your fingers, as the smell and density are the real standout features. Even under magnification, there are no faults whatsoever with this plant.

Smell: Can Plants Have Human Pheromones?

Well, that devious mistress would be Tang Breath. Rambunctious (a little extra at first) but mysterious and intriguing and really sweet once you get to know her. This is one of the most exciting strains I’ve smoked in a long time, and no, I’m not exaggerating.

This stuff is really wow, in the literal sense. When the budtender at Oregrown opened the jar and aimed his handheld mini fan at my shnoz, I actually recoiled momentarily at the powerfully sweet, tangy, uh, “twang”..that emanated from the glass vessel. This funky substance was terping something truly unique. 

I think the last time I was this surprised was after sampling Highland Provision’s Garlic Drip flower. So yeah, upon reflection, I would say that Tang Breath deserves to be in the same amateur grunge band gym sock gang as the garlics, the cheeses, and perhaps grandpas sock drawer as well.

Hold on, if you’re not into fine French cheeses or the aromatic power of a good fish sauce and you’re thinking that this is just all a bit too intense for you, please, give me a chance here to explain.

Tang Breath isn’t stanky (*not using “stink” because it is deep down oddly pleasant, intriguing at the least, which is a positive in my book) in the sense that the garlics and cheeses are. No, it’s odorous in a hole new way. Yes, that’s a cheese pun. No, I’m not sorry.

The smell of Tang Breath is mostly pleasant, much “brighter,” and not as heavy hitting as the cheeses and garlics. In a way, it’s a perfect bridge between light, citrusy, mainstream terpene/flavonoid profiles and the more exotic farty ones requiring an acquired taste.

I can’t help but equate the mysterious twang of Tang Breath to human smells, which I’m going to assume perhaps was at least partially behind the impetus of the “breath” part of the name; there’s definitely an alluring musk to this bud which reminds me of human.

Hopefully that’s not too freaky an analogy. I’m honestly not trying to convert anyone to the way of cannibalism here; I’m just trying to describe the oddly attractive, almost human-like odorous yet sweet punch of this weed.

It’s almost sweat, but in a good way? Sure, if sweat sits long enough and tries, it tends to stink in an entirely unpleasant way.

But fresh sweat is generally less offensive and can raise an eyebrow in not a not necessarily negative way because of its sweet depth and complexity. Think acidic and sweet at the same time.

I can’t help but wonder, was the “Tang” part of the name derived from, uh, pootytang, instead of the popular orange drink? Maybe both? Maybe I’m just perverted.

But I mean, shit, I had assumed being a cross between (my all-time FAVORITE) Tropicana Cookies and Mendo Breath; it was implying Tang as in the 2000’s orange Kool-aid-like drink with the orangutan in the commercials. 

There is definitely some sweet citrus there; no doubt that Tropicana Cookies utterly blasts through its own unstoppable tropical notes like the bombastic strain it is. 

[Sidenote: Just did a quick Google search history download of Tang. For some reason, I was certain that it used to contain caffeine, but all formulations I could find pictures of contained no caffeine. Does anyone else remember Tang having caffeine in it?]

Tang Breath’s funk is like an initial acidic, over-ripened tangerine affront to the nose.

Still, then upon lingering a bit and giving your brain time to process that this sweet, sour sweaty, salty smell came from a nug of cannabis, you realize this shit is actually pleasant.

I’m assuming that is some of the cookies (from the Tropicana Cookies parent) as well as from the OG Kush Breath in the Mendo Breath lineage.

My wife and I both gave it a whiff and said something to the effect of “Oh, that’s different” before moving on in search of more familiar scent profiles we enjoy, like sweet fruits and fresh clean citruses.

Ultimately though, we came back to the Tang Breath jar and got a quarter ounce because after a second smell, it was made abundantly clear this is a true outlier of a strain.

So, if you feel like everything you’ve been getting from the dispensary recently is kind of running together with too much similar terpene profile overlap, then check out Tang Breath if you can find it. 

Sensation: Cannabis in Brunch Form

The effect of Tang breath was a fun ride. It hits strong after inhalation but not suddenly. The volume is turned up, but the DJ knows what they’re doing so they don’t burst your eardrums.

This short pre-impact crescendo is how pleasant way for cannabis to kick in because it gives a moment of sheer anticipatory excitement before saturating your senses.

As such, I consider the lead-up smell, as well as the initial jolt of excitement, akin to a well-made breakfast mimosa. No, I’m not equating flavor here, just the smell (sweet and acidic) and the initial sensation (a bit of tingly excitement).

Heck, it’s kind of like Tang, the drink with the orangutan, the initial kick of that artificial sweet backed up by the familiar fake citrus orange flavor found in pretty much every form of orange pop.

Like many mimosa-fueled brunches, you then extinguish the building alcohol fire with a smothering dose of French toast and syrup.

This is how the exhale tastes with Tang Breath, with much of the sweetness you smelled initially fading away to a surprisingly smooth and balanced palate.

The sensation follows that of brunch with a heavy stomach full of french toast and bacon and fresh fruit and the initial alcohol rush being slowly and sedately mellowed down into a comfortable vibe.

The initial excitement and then mellowing down means this might not be enough to get your kicks off if you’re a big buzzy sativa lover. The initial hit might be a bit too sparkly for you couch-dwelling indicia-heads as well.

That said, I think it’s good to continually expand your horizons in all aspects of life, and I also think that Tang Breath is a nice bridge between the two, as any hybrid should be.

I don’t mean this in a boring sense. Tang Breath is definitely not a 50/50, the sativa characteristics shine through first and foremost, but there is enough kush base layer to keep you grounded and calm, paranoia isn’t even close to ruining this party.

So, if you’re looking for a good wake-and-bake strain, or a train for perhaps an action movie, or heck, a pre-brunch smoke that will match the ebb and flow of your meal, then Tang Breath should be on your shortlist, if not for its truly unique scent profile and pleasant smoke.