Tang Breath – It’s a Kick in the Glassware!

If you were a child of the ’80s and ’90s, worked in a grocery store, or both (shoutout, SuperV!), then you probably already know Tang. Chances are you think of it positively, too. I mean, how can one biologically NOT love orange-dyed sugar powder? 

Well, what if I told you there was a specific strain of cannabis that captured some of that lip-smacking sweetness?

For many of us, nostalgia is one hell of a drug. You see it in the popularity of shows like Stranger Things and in fashion trends. You are now also seeing it in cannabis, with strains like Galactic Runtz, Fruit Loops, Zkittles, Cereal Milk, and Tang Breath all receiving a pretty hype reception.

Of those, Tang Breath is probably one of the lesser-knowns. However, based on the amount of Instagram posting in Oregon, it seems this strain is well on its way to celebrity status. I will try my best in this review to describe why that is.

Writing genuine strain reviews can be tough between the regular 9-5 grind and life’s incessant responsibilities. I try to be in a relatively clear mind to FEEL best what the cannabis is doing and then communicate that via writing.

What finally wrangled me down to sit behind my computer and get to typing? What could be so exciting that it called me to my desk prison to work on something that isn’t in any way paying the bills?

Appearance: Self-Contained Terpene Capsules

This weed isn’t purple and doesn’t look like it’s been covered in a blizzard’s worth of trichomes.

Instead, it looks like a bright, fresh bunch of nugs that fell into a THC spider’s web and was wrapped up in a light, almost yellow web of trichomes.

If you look closely, you’ll notice it is a well-grown plant. The nug structure is prototypical, one dense mass, as opposed to the more porous popcorn-type structures like those of its parent in Tropicana Cookies.

Being grown by none other than Fox Hollow Flora, we wouldn’t expect anything less, but even by their standards, these nugs were hella dense. A tiny bit went a long way in my grinder when rolling up a few test pins.

The greatest part about the structure and its density is that it seems to have helped trap some of the most powerful funky notes. It’s almost like the almost matted-down trichome layer has sealed in virgin terpene notes, just waiting for you to take them home and crack them open for yourself.

The stigmatic hairs aren’t particularly numerous or of any radical coloration. Still, when you look at them under magnification, you can see just how long and beautiful they are, almost like forest ferns that have been dried out and replaced their bright green color with a rust-like tinge.

These puppies are rather unassuming up front. If you were analyzing them in a containment chamber in a laboratory and could not smell the glorious odors that emanate from this flower upon break-up, you might just assume it’s another mediocre strain.

But for all the normies out there who don’t grind their cannabis with their noses plugged, you’re in for a real treat, I promise.

If you’re looking at your half-ounce or quarter or whatever and it looks like you got less total material than usual, don’t worry. As mentioned, these puppies are dense; there’s not a lot of air in there at all.

In the end, this cannabis is best observed with your nose and your fingers, as the smell and density are the real standout features. Even under magnification, this plant has no faults whatsoever.

Smell: Can Plants Have Human Pheromones?

Well, that devious mistress would be Tang Breath, a rambunctious (a little extra at first) cultivar that is both mysterious and intriguing, and lovely once you get to know her. This is one of the most exciting strains I’ve smoked in a long time, and no, I’m not exaggerating.

This stuff is really wow, in the literal sense. When the budtender at Oregrown opened the jar and aimed his handheld mini fan at my shnoz, I recoiled momentarily at the powerfully sweet, tangy, uh, “twang that emanated from the glass vessel. This funky substance was terping something genuinely unique. 

I think the last time I was this surprised was after sampling Highland Provision’s Garlic Drip flower. So yeah, upon reflection, I would say that Tang Breath deserves to be in the same amateur grunge band gym sock gang as the garlics, the cheeses, and perhaps grandpa’s sock drawer.

Hold on. If you’re not into fine French cheeses or the aromatic power of a good fish sauce, and you think this is just a bit too intense for you, please give me a chance here to explain.

Tang Breath isn’t stanky (*not using “stink” because it is deep down oddly pleasant, intriguing at the least, which is a positive in my book) in the sense that the garlics and cheeses are. No, it’s odorous in a whole new way. Yes, that’s a cheese pie.  No, I’m not sorry.

The smell of Tang Breath is pleasant primarily, much “brighter,” and not as heavy-hitting as the cheeses and garlic. It’s a perfect bridge between light, citrusy, mainstream terpene/flavonoid profiles and the more exotic, fruity ones requiring an acquired taste.

I can’t help but equate the mysterious twang of Tang Breath to uh… more “human” smells, which I’m going to assume, perhaps, was at least partially behind the impetus of the “breath” part of the name?

That bad breath funkiness is almost sweet, but in a good way…

Sure, if sweat sits long enough and tries, it tends to stink in an entirely unpleasant way.

But fresh sweat is generally less offensive and can raise an eyebrow in a not necessarily negative way because of its sweet depth and complexity. Think acidic and sweet at the same time.

I can’t help but wonder: Was the “Tang” part of the name derived from, uh, pootytang instead of the popular orange drink? Maybe both. Maybe I’m just perverted.

But I mean, shit, I had assumed it was a cross between (my all-time favorite) Tropicana Cookies and Mendo Breath, playing off the flavors that dominate the 2000s’s orange Kool-aid-like drink of the same name with the orangutan in the commercials. 

There is definitely some sweet citrus there; no doubt that Tropicana Cookies utterly blasts through its unstoppable tropical notes like its bombastic strain. 

Tang Breath’s funk is like an initial acidic, over-ripened tangerine affront to the nose.

Still, then upon lingering a bit and giving your brain time to process that this sweet, sou,r sweaty, salty smell came from a nug of cannabis, you realize this shit is actually pleasant.

I’m assuming that is some of the cookies (from the Tropicana Cookies parent and from the OG Kush Breath in the Mendo Breath lineage.

My wife and I both gave it a whiff and said something to the effect of “Oh, that’s different” before moving on in search of more familiar scent profiles we enjoy, like sweet fruits and fresh, clean citrus.

Ultimately, though, we came back to the Tang Breath jar and got a quarter ounce because after a second smell, it was abundantly clear that this is a true outlier of a strain.

So, if you feel like everything you’ve been getting from the dispensary recently is kind of running together with too much similar terpene profile overlap, check out Tang Breath if you can find it. 

Sensation: Cannabis in Brunch Form

The effect of Tang breath was a fun ride. It hits strong after inhalation, but not suddenly. The volume is turned up, but the DJ knows what they’re doing, so they don’t burst your eardrums.

This short pre-impact crescendo is how pleasant way for cannabis to kick in because it gives a moment of sheer anticipatory excitement before saturating your senses.

As such, I consider the lead-up smell and the initial jolt of excitement akin to a well-made breakfast mimosa. No, I’m not equating flavor here, just the scent (sweet and acidic) and the initial sensation (a bit of tingly excitement).

Heck, it’s kind of like Tang, the drink with the orangutan. The initial kick of that artificial sweet is backed up by the familiar fake citrus orange flavor found in pretty much every form of orange pop.

Like many mimosa-fueled brunches, you extinguish the building alcohol fire with a smothering dose of French toast and syrup.

This is how the exhale tastes with Tang Breath, with much of the sweetness you smelled initially fading to a surprisingly smooth and balanced palate.

The sensation follows that of brunch, with a heavy stomach full of French toast, bacon, and fresh fruit, and the initial alcohol rush slowly and sedately mellowed down into a comfortable vibe.

The initial excitement and then mellowing down mean this might not be enough to get your kicks off if you’re a big buzzy sativa lover. The initial hit might also be too sparkly for your couch-dwelling indica-head.

That said, I think it’s good to expand your horizons in all aspects of life continually, and I also think that Tang Breath is a nice bridge between the two, as any hybrid should be.

I don’t mean this in a boring sense. Tang Breath is definitely not a 50/50 proposition. The sativa characteristics shine through first and foremost, but there is enough kush base layer to keep you grounded and calm. Paranoia isn’t even close to ruining this party.

So, if you’re looking for a good wake-and-bake strain, or a train for perhaps an action movie, or heck, a pre-brunch smoke that will match the ebb and flow of your meal, then Tang Breath should be on your shortlist, if not for its truly unique scent profile and pleasant smoke.