Pineapple strains may not be garnering as many headlines as the hype candies but make no mistake about it, there are good reasons why so many dispensaries have one Pineapple strain or another on their menu at any time.
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Pineapple strains are light, fun, pick-you-up experiences, which is what many of us look for in a solid daytime/summertime smoke.
Golden Pineapple is a noticeably cerebral smoke that quickly gets you lifted but in an up-tempo and exciting way, making it great social lubricant for the more introverted among us.
This playfully bright and sweet fruit bud inherits its unique characteristics from Golden Goat and Pineapple Kush parent strains.
The Golden Goat parent is a cross of Hawaiian Romulan and Island Sweet Skunk, which is where that intense sweet sugary piss-like hot fuel comes from.
The Pineapple Kush parent is a cross of Pineapple and Hindu Kush strains which bring the fruit stand on a hot summer day.
The bees are circling as this heavy kushy pineapple strain emanates strong fumes of seduction, a promise of a golden shower should your heart desire some warm yellow rain.
I generally default to Tangie and grape-dominant strains when I’m feeling particularly fruity but if I find a big hairy sweet ‘n skunky Hawaiian/Acapulco/Columbian/Kona gold and its been harvested in the last 3 months I’m gunna pick up at least a quarter ounce of it.
This Golden Pineapple is an excellent example of the bright island tropical goodness I need in my rotation every few months as it takes me away to a brighter place.
If you’re picking up what I’m laying down then let’s dig in a bit deeper shall we and explore the unique appearance, smells, and sensations that Golden Pineapple delivers.
Appearance: Big Tropical Budeths Floweth Over
Something I’ve noticed with a lot of these tropical classics (the “region + Gold” strains) is they are often come in L, XL, and XXL nug sizes, which is pretty rad.
For example the Kona Gold I smoked last year and a lot of the Acapulco Gold flower I’ve seen around locally are also impressively sized.
These are bright green buds with a mesmerizing blend of bright lime greens mixed in with darker jungle greens which give an impressive amount of depth of lush “living” hues.
Texture-wise these are fluff masters, which in part helps explain why their uniquely large size, like a big puffy dog.
A bit spongy when compressed you need to break off a fair amount to get a solid bowls worth but that’s fine because these nugs are huge enough as is.
Sure enough, as soon as you start to break Golden Pineapple apart you are bombarded by a strong aroma of sweet pineapple sugar and citrus zest, which inevitably results in you taking a few long inhales of this spectacular perfume.
Smell: A Potent Bouquet of Rarified Fruits
In a market that tends to focus more on the sweeter, more candied side of the fruit spectrum, getting a strain that hits you with a completely fresh terpene profile is not just an eye opener but a heart warming experience as well.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll simp for candy Tropicana strains until I’m blue in the face and there’s no denying a good sugary cherry or grape cross, but there is also something to be said for a cannabis strain that brings a completely different fruit profile to your rotation.
Pineapple strains are just…refreshing!
This fresh Golden Pineapple jumps out of my Re:stash jar immediately after cracking the lid, hitting me initially with a surprisingly zesty, slightly pissy, dare I say even “chemy” sweetness.
We’re not talking combustible levels of gas but I do get the impression I could get high just huffing this out of a brown paper bag for a couple minutes. Think name brand citrus-scented wood polishes..
From a foot or two away, there is the a little bit of *light skunky pungency woven into the more dominating ripe citrus smells, which is a fucking rad bit of twang for what is an otherwise quite smiley strain.
I suspect a lot of this pungunt twist is thanks to the Golden Goat genetics staying true to their Romulan and Skunk lineage and saturating these Golden Pineapple kolas with that potent ginger-citrus punch type of terpene profile that is so prized.
Maybe the terps hit me extra hard because I hear “golden” in “Golden Pineapple” and think ok, this must smell like an over-ripened “gold” colored fruit salad kind of pineapple before being hit with what smells like a green/unripened pineapple that’s been canned in gasoline.
It’s not all a nasal assault though, with a pleasant tangerine-like syrupy sweetness that coats the experience with a sticky sheen of hummingbird crack.
This is definitely an invigorating smell, like freshly grated ginger root, something that wakes you up a bit and clears out the nasal passages without being itchy or peppery in the slightest.
Softer and more nuanced notes of dandelion and cypress underwrite the bright gingery razzle dazzle, rounding the edges out on what is a lively, springtime-esque fragrance.
Exhales from my ball vape bestow upon me a very pleasant yellow Starburst/limoncello notes, which makes me feel like this would be a great pre-summertime dinner appetizer type of smoke.
Herbal Dynamics grows some of the highest quality flower in Oregon so I believe I’m likely getting the best and brightest expression of what Golden Pineapple can be, an opinion that I suspect most would agree with after merely taking a big whiff of the stuff.
Toss a quarter gram of this in your water pipe and fire up the ball vape and have these smells coat the entire inside of your mouth, throat, and lungs, leaving you feeling like a room deodorizer upon exhale.
Refreshing and invigorating aren’t only good descriptors for the scent and flavor, but thankfully, for the experience as well.
Sensation: This Stuff Will Perk You Up
Whenever strains smell even the slightest bit chemy I admit that I do worry that I might have gotten myself something a bit racier than I’m generally prepared for.
Flashbacks to my first recreational dispensary visit where I was sold on some particularly chemy GG4 that ended up having me geek a bit on the journey back to my hotel flash before my eyes.
So when grinding up my fresh Golden Pineapple I make sure to buckle up for the tsunami of paranoia that I perceive to be just around the corner, steadying my broad-leaf brain for maximum sharp impact.
But there is no sharpness, instead there’s simply a steady and gradual ramp-up of mental activity as the unique blend of cannabinoids flow through my system, eagerly seeking out receptors with an urgency akin to me trying to get to a toilet after my morning cup of black coffee.
The effect is Golden Pineapple increasing the speed with which thoughts seems to form in my head. It’s not scary, it simply helps your synaptic relays pick up the pace a little bit.
This is the opposite of couchlock weed. It’s a get shit done and be productive kind of weed. It’s an obvious wake-and-bake candidate but it’s also good for PM sessions where you’re looking to lock the fuck in and need a little mental boost before binging some YouTube on a quest to finally understand why in the fuck the pyramids were built.
In Golden Pineapple there seem to be some magical ratio of terpenes and cannabinoids that saturate the fluid my brain floats in, increasing electrical conductivity, allowing my neurons to fire to one another rapidly, with slippery ease.
Blazing this up it feels like mentally swapping out a thrashed set of ABEC 5 bearings with a brand new set of ABEC 9s for the moving bits in my brain.
As such the mental gears churn extra fast. This could be a pro or a con, depending how socially anxious you are predisposed to getting without cannabis, and what your external environment is like.
I wouldn’t personally consume this before going to a crowded restaurant or mall where there is a cacophony of noises, visuals, and smells to overwhelm.
I would however gladly vaporize some Golden Pineapple before trying to laser in on a task that requires clarity in attention to detail, such as cleaning your bong or typing out an excessively verbose strain review.
This would also be helpful weed in social situations wherein you may need a little extra cognitive boost to open up and stay engaged.
Summary: Cannabis With An “A-Type” Personality
It’s funny, knowing that Golden Pineapple’s parent strain Golden Goat is essentially a retro tropical island prodigy known for being a bright and “clean” smoke, in an under-ripened citrus type of way.
I wonder how much potency of effect the “euphoric” Pineapple Kush parent genetics play into things as well here, keeping Golden Pineapple from becoming a complete beach bum.
Golden Pineapple is somewhere in the middle I think, not really a cabana lounger but more of a happy clam in the sand. A restless dad on a family vacation with a new metal detector and a dogged determination to discover some treasure.
What could be more fun than that?
If you have a fondness for hazes and skunks but can’t find any in stores near you then I think strains like Golden Pineapple do a good job standing in as modern crosses that carry through plenty enough old-school genetics to satiate our hippy-like cravings.
If you enjoy the sharp freshness that strains with bright terpene profiles exhibit then you may also want to check out Colorado Sunshine, Maui Wowie, and Sparkling Lime.
If you have only smoked contemporary candy store genetics then I also recommend you check out Golden Pineapple if you see it around fresh, because a fresh harvest of this is truly a golden experience to behold.
But what about you? What’s your favorite pineapple strain? Let us know in the comments below!
