Eugreen Notill’s Donny Burger, similar to Focus North’s White Truffle, is one of those strains I swear I’ve seen on shelves for what feels like years, but I’ve never actually tried it simply because I’ve seen it so often.
It was just a case of “Oh, I can get this next time” that led me to put off smoking White Truffle (read more about why I regret waiting so long here) and the Donny B.
I was just complacent. I’ll admit that. The rest of this review should make that pretty straightforward.
So, the time has finally come for my official review of a quarter-ounce worth of Donny Burger, grown by the Soilgoons at Eugreen, purchased from the stalwart Oregrown at NE 12th and NE Couch St.
This fleshmonster indulged in three primary modes of consumption, which included being vaped, jayed, and bonged.
^Yeah, calm down, Grammarly, this isn’t a fucking dictionary.
Appearance: Knobby Hairy Little Bastards
I’m not going to lie; the initial appearance of these nugs didn’t really give me “the fizz”.
I like big, dense mofoers. Like, not much air. And purple too. Large in size. Big buds with moist centers. Yeah, I want these things, and I cannot lie.
This batch of Donny Burger (sometimes written by the grammatically challenged as ‘Donnies Burger’) I got is more like various sizes of small and medium-small.
Yes, all of what I’ve just said and what I am going to continue to say is “subjective”. You may prefer the opposite of me, and that’s just fine.
Overall, these nugs are somewhat knobby yet airy and soft. I always struggle to know how much of this kind of weed to grind because it often looks puffier but squishes down more when I roll it up.
Like this is one of those weeds you will have to top up your grinder a second time after you’ve dumped your first load and realized it wasn’t going to be enough once compacted into your jay, cone, blunt, or whatever floats your boat.
I don’t know what that tiny little yellowish spot is, either. Looks like a fresh sprout? There were like 2 or 3 of them total across all the nugs.
I tried to research what in the growing process might cause this, but very quickly gave up and ground them shits up and smoked it all regardless.
I’m the furthest thing from a cultivation guru as can be, and my perpetually-on-life-support snake plant can attest to that.
Organic, quality, and flavor are about all I give a shit about; I’ve smoked so much Eugreen (Scotti-Faced and Galactic Runtz being two favs) that my trust in them is pretty damn supreme at this point.
In terms of the “chomes,” brahj, yeah, they are there, inside and out; there is plenty of trichome delight to feast on visually. These nugs are hairy and glary, covered in the ‘chomes.
Also, not to trigger anyone, but this bitch tested (per the label and lab and blah blah blah, I KNOW) at 34.36%.
The same knobby structure I described earlier provides a lot of surface area to maximize total trichome coverage, which is a definite “pro” in this type of structure.
My Donny Burger wasn’t the stickiest ever, but stuff definitely got my fingers pretty sticky when hand-grinding it up for my bowl.
So appearance-wise, this isn’t going to be something I personally will remember forever, and that’s just fine. It’s not bad in any way. Some prefer their carbs in potato form, others in rice, and others in noodles.
However, it is essential to remember that you often cannot accurately judge a weed’s character by its appearance alone. If the smell, flavor, and experience are all great, the appearance really doesn’t matter much in the end, does it?
Smell: It’ll Work Up an Appetite
Sometimes, when it’s a struggle just to find a decent breakfast when traveling, and on top of that, sometimes you’re also a bit hungover and aren’t feeling too hot, compounding the hangry rapidly brewing deep in your belly.
But once you enter that breakfast joint, whether it be Denny’s, Perkins, IHOP, or if you’re lucky, a locally owned and operated greasy AF joint that all the truckers love because, well, it’s dank.
The same thing happens with Donny Burger. The Burger is a GMO freak of nature with a smell, flavor, and smoke all its own.
Donny Burger is an indica-leaning hybrid. If 1 was (theoretically) pure indica and 10 was (theoretically) pure sativa, then the Don would be like a 3 or 4. Not sleep-inducingly indica but definitely a stoney stone more than a geek-out/freak-out sativa.
Up close, with my nose buried deep in my fresh ass jar, the smell reflects this, with a dash of black pepper and a fennel-seeded gyro-roasted, meaty fragrance.
Taping a step back as things begin to diffuse nicely into an aroma reminiscent of a freshly opened steamy sack of McDonald’s combo #3 (that’s a double quarter pounder with cheese for you uninitiated bitches).
This ground beef and onion twang kind of diffuses in the immediate vicinity, kind of like a fart of the same description. I feel like McDonald’s kind of smells farty, too, and sure enough, after blazing and then walking back into the room, it has a smell like McDonald’s, in a good way.
What’s the Deal With GMO Anyways?
The “GMO” in the “GMO strain” actually stands for Garlic, Mushrooms, and Onions, which I think is the truest description of its personality.
“Garlic, Mushroom, and Onions” eventually became just “Garlic Cookies,” which is fair, I guess, because they kept the “garlic funk” descriptor and added “cookies” to reflect the GSC parent. Ultimately, in the end, the whole thing was just truncated to the technocratically efficient “GMO.”
It’s an indica smell for sure,but not the most earthy I’ve smelled.
The White Truffle I smoked the other week was a dirtier strain (as in soil-scented). The Ice Cream Cake I’ve got sitting next to it, however, smells much sweeter and creamier.
In terms of pre-smoke dry-pull, I got something that really reminded me of the breath you get after eating a pretty legit lamb gyro with garlic tzatziki and raw onions for lunch. That taste in your mouth sitting in your cubicle post-lunch like a drone, counting down the hours before you can get the fuck out of the office.
It’s pretty familiar to the senses in that it’s another one of those strains where its name is actually appropriate, in my opinion.
Speaking of appropriate, I felt compelled to listen to some old Bloodhound Gang after smoking this and ultimately ended up on Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo on repeat. That song describes Donny Burger in an auditory sense.
Because of the dank earthy notes and the meaty undertones on the dry pull, I’m putting this one squarely in the afternoon-evening time category as I prefer a bit brighter, more citrus and/or fruit in my wake-and-bake strains.
Donny Burger is definitely worth recommending to friends. I think friends with particularly sensitive palates for smell and taste would enjoy the fast-food familiarity of D-Burger.
So yeah, overall pretty exciting to the ole shnoz. This is shaping up to be a great evening smoke!
Yeah, I write my reviews while under the effects of the herb I’m trying to describe. It makes logical “high sense” that this should increase the accuracy of said reviews, but I admit I haven’t given it much sober second thought.
Sensation: Fit Right In At The Local Diner
Donny Burger is kind of like a Nintendo of a high. It’s approachable and liked by a lot of people, so it makes a great common ground and makes whatever task you’re doing a bit more chill and a bit more fun.
Some weed makes it impossible to concentrate, and some weed makes it really easy to get SUPER tunnel-visioned (from chasing too many damn tunnels!).
Some weed is perfect for packing in a big bowl to share with your homies on a sunny Sunday afternoon—the Nintendo of highs!
Officially, unofficially, depending on which side of the indica/sativa/”it’s all the same” debate you fall on, Donny Burger is an indica-dominant (aka has a genetic history with strains known for their similar terpene profiles).
Donny Burger’s parents are GMO (which was explained in the intro of this blog post) and Han Solo Burger, which is itself a GMO and Larry OG offspring. Both family branches end up multiple generations back as either the “unknown Hindu Kush” strain or the “Afghanistani” indica.
As a member of the “yes, there is a difference” camp, I do think Donny Burger is a pretty chill high, but not as sedating as something like Ice Cream Cake, imo (which is the other strain I’m smoking right now, hence the direct apples-to-oranges comparison).
You can still function highly with da Donny, which, combined with the lightly sedating, mostly calming effects, would make it a great strain to smoke before a shift at the grocery store facing shelves until close. Would be great to smoke right before a glutinous, greasy late-night diner session.
Honestly, I would say it was bordering on chatty in terms of keeping the brain gears churning while a general sense of anxiety relief sweeps through your body.
That may sound a bit hyperbolic, but I’m about 50% of the way through my stash as I write this, so having consumed about an eighth and it’s always a good stony time, usually before and after prepping dinner.
Despite this batch testing at 34.36% THC, I never felt anywhere close to geeking or getting that “top of the roller coaster right before the plunge” feeling.
The onset, the intensity, and the peak were all very manageable for me. Despite not being super intense, Donny Burger had solid staying power; I’d say performing slightly above average in terms of duration for non-infused flower.
No, I don’t have exact stopwatch times for you, but maybe I’ll incorporate that in the future.
So if you come across some decently fresh Donny Burger at your neighborhood joint and like to try strains that step outside the sometimes overdone Runtz or grape strains, pick up a couple of grams to give it a try.
